Close to Home

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Contrary to what you might think, it is possible to have a classic American turkey dinner in Cairo. A number of butchers and grocery stores stock turkeys for the holiday season since there is a significant American expatriate community living here. This evening I will be sharing a dinner with friends in their apartment - it should be great! What I miss most about being here for Thanksgiving is not so much the food, rather I long for the family component to the holiday. Specifically, the fact that everyone gathers together for numerous hours and engages in lengthy conversations about all sorts of topics. I guess being removed from this reoccurring event has shown that it does truly mean something to me. Being here in Cairo has caused me to take a more serious look at what I am thankful for this year than in the past. Foremost, I thank God for having a very loving "family," which is not limited to blood-relatives but also friends and other loved ones. My safe travels and life experiences in Egypt are also something that I thank God for this Thanksgiving. Well, I am off to enjoy turkey and the fixings with friends at their apartment. Cheers!

Ma'salaama for now,

Andrew

Currently Listening To:

City and Colour "What Makes a Man?"

My March to the Sea

Judging by my last post you might have gotten the impression that my enthusiasm for being in Cairo had been spent and all I was doing was counting the days until home. While this remains partially true, particularly the increased longing for home and loved ones, some of my past week's experiences have reaffirmed my affinity for Egypt. Two things have caused this drastic switch in my demeanor within the span of a week: friendships that I have developed here and a trip to the Black and White Deserts.

Of all the things that I will most miss about Cairo are the friends that I have made over the course of the past 4 months. These individuals, whom I could easily consume pages with describing their personalities, come from diverse backgrounds. Some Muslim, some Coptic, some atheist. The cliche of "variety is the spice of life" has never rung truer for me than being here. Provided my upbringing in the bastion of white, middle-class suburbia that is South Jersey, it may appear that I am simply experiencing the effects of living in a major city. Yes, there is no denying that I have grown more accustomed to "big city" life than I am used to. However, something is unique about life in Cairo and the people I have met here. Of all the people I have met while being here I find myself becoming closest with Arabs and Egyptians, especially my Palestinian friends. Their personalities seem to match mine much better than many Americans in that we share a more communal outlook on life and put greater emphasis on pursuing causes beyond our self-betterment, whether its secular or spiritual. It is not that I do not still appreciate my friendships back in the States, if anything my closest ones have been put to the test and seem to have withstood it. Rather I have begun to recognize that when I return that I will approach friendship in a different way. What that exactly entails and what are the repercussions, I have not the slightest idea. All I do know is that being abroad and meeting friends from diverse backgrounds has widen my outlook on life beyond the horizon of suburban New Jersey and Pennsylvania. Being abroad has been the culmination of my desire to experience life outside of Ocean City, and as a result, I may be different than before but I still hold dear my love for family and friends that helped mold me back home.

Additionally, over the past weekend I had the opportunity to travel for two days to the western deserts, specifically the Black and White deserts. Situated about 4 hours southwest of Cairo, small oases dot the otherwise arid and khaki landscape of the Western Desert region. My group, which consisted of fellow AUCers, were fortunate to avoid public transportation and hire a microbus to take us back and forth from Cairo. As we were leaving Cairo the surrounding environment quickly devolves from a sprawling metropolis to an endless sea of caramel colored sand. Having endured the 4 hour trip in the microbus we arrived in one of the oasis, whose name slips my mind at the moment, deep within the desert. In some ways the town reminded of the feeling you get when visiting the Outbanks, particularly Ocracoke Island, in that both areas were isolated geographically yet seemed busiling with tourist activities. The biggest attraction of the oasis was the neighbouring Black and White Deserts, which true to their names, are huge expanses of sulfur and limestone sand, respectively. To tour the area you transfer everything into old Land Cruisers 4 x 4's and head out of town with bedouin guides/drivers, who are among the coolest people in the Middle East. Having once been exclusively nomadic, the bedouin, who are found across North Africa, the Levant, and Arabia, have now settled into sedentary lifestyles on the fringes of industrialized communities. In this case, the bedouin population had become the custodians of the deserts' beautiful sights and developed successful tourist companies in the oases. It was clear from the outset that our guide, who was a man of about 40 years, enjoyed his profession, judging by him singing a lot and chatting with us. Not to scare everyone, but the best part of trekking in this way was the way in which the guides handle driving. Although we probably topped out at 80 mph going across the desert and 100 on the roadways, I felt like our guide was always in control and sensed that all of us enjoyed the thrill of driving this fast. I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that we are used to being told to drive cautiously; well, out there what is there to really worry about.

After having driven for nearly 8 hours, touring various parts of the deserts along the way, we finally arrived in the rock formation fields of the White desert to pitch camp in traditional bedouin style. Some of these formations, like the one I have provided in my photos, resembled all kinds of animate objects, like chickens, rabbitts, and heads. More impressive than this was the night sky. I have never seen the sky so vividly at night - I actually got to see the Milky Way clearly, with its green tint and all. Also, the silence that accompanied being here allowed me to clear my head by taking in the awesomeness of nature without distractions. If you ever get the chance, please take the time to come here.

Ma'salaama for now,
Andrew


Currently Listening To:
Baroness "Wanderlust"

Comin' Home

Just the other evening a friend and I had a lengthy conversation over dinner about our experiences in Cairo and what we expected going back to the States. Taylor, a junior at American University in D.C., has been here longer than I have, since last February, and had returned home for the summer vacation. Through a history course and our involvement in the university's Palestinian activist group we have become close friends, often listening to each others' thoughts about all sorts of things: girls, politics, our undiagnosed neuroses. While our conversations often drift to the subject of longing for home, this time we dwelt on the topic for most of our dinner. Both of us had had busy weeks and in Taylor's case, a particularly stressful talk with a girl he hoped to start something with while here. For as much as each of us loves Egypt and the friends we have met here, we have both reached our breaking points and are ready to return home. Unlike the feelings of wanting to stay I get while on vacation, I now count the days until flying home. This is not to say that I do not still have amazing experiences ahead in the last month. I mean I will be traveling to the Sinai Peninsula and Israel/Palestine for my upcoming breaks, which will surely be epic in every sense.

I think at the heart of Taylor's and my longing for home is the fact that we have become overly frustrated with particular aspects of a society that remains foreign to us even after all these months. For instance, personally speaking, having had food poisoning nearly 7 times, with the latest occurrence happening this past weekend, has definitely put a damper on my experience in Cairo. Likewise, as a result of this, I become more easily agitated by otherwise minor annoyances, like attempts to make me pay more for whatever, be it a taxi ride or food. I guess you might say I am wrestling with trying to make sense of my experiences here and gain insight from them. To be honest, I am afraid of returning home in some ways. I know that I have changed, whether for better or worse. I am probably a bit more lazy than before and will miss going out for coffee and sheesha. At the same time I have found new internal strengths that I never knew existed previously. Considering this whirlwind of emotions I expect my transition back into American culture to have its hardships. Having lived under a dictatorial, conservative society I am sure some aspects of the States will seem just as foreign as coming to Egypt back in August. The one thing that is very clear right now is that the way I was living before coming here will never be the same. I recognize that in many ways I had been extremely selfish, like filling my closet and drawers with clothing I wore only once and then forgot about. Or praying to God for more of this and that.

Ma'salaama for now,
Andrew

Currently Listening To:

The Lawrence Arms "100 Resolutions"

Still Searching

This past week has been pretty hectic, which would explain the lack of posts recently. As a result of my involvement in numerous student organizations on campus and my classes' workloads, at times I was lucky just to enjoy a few moments to myself. It seems to be a reoccurring trend throughout my life: show enthusiasm for helping out, then watch my time evaporate. While I do not mind participating in efforts to improve the university, be it through activism or serving as a student representative to the administration, I have grown increasingly weary. To attend several meetings a week and maintain the image of the "non-traditional khaagid (Egyptian slang for "foreigner")" is extremely taxing and leaves me thoroughly exhausted when the weekends come. In many ways this situation reminds me of experiences back home, in any setting imaginable: church, Boy Scouts, workplaces, etc. Perhaps I put more pressure on myself than others do, well, yes, I know I do that already - it is what drives me. At some times I have wished to curse God for creating me in such a way, where I feel like I can never truly relax and accept medicrocy. However, I recognize that the fact that I do care so much about living life to the fullest always sets me apart from not only my peers, but also a great deal of adults. Yes, it may be naive of me to state this, but I perceive many people letting others direct their life choices and burdening them with regrets. I cannot point to a single text or person who has led me to this observation; rather it is the culmination of life experiences, of both the physical and spiritual sorts.

Speaking of spirituality, in addition to a busy week of meetings and courses, my mind has been wracked by a crisis of sorts. Living in a predominately Muslim country, studying Islam, and having numerous Muslim friends, there has been a great deal of pressure on my spiritual outlook since arriving in Egypt. I wish to make it absolutely clear that my friends have not made any attempts to convert me, so please do not assume what I am about to discuss was forced upon me. If anything, they have encouraged me to do as much thinking and research as I can before deciding on a religious path. As I have alluded to in previous posts, I had been questioning my faith in Christianity prior to even considering study abroad in Egypt. In actuality, my spiritual search had evolved over the course of my years spent at Ursinus, where I was exposed to new philosophical ideologies and presented with challenges to my faith. The way in which these challenges manifested themselves varied greatly, ranging from in-class debates to being out at parties and confronted with decisions about alcohol, sex, you fill in the blank. Then with coming to Cairo I really began to question whether my Christian upbringing was still fulfilling my spiritual needs. And to be honest, while I have decided against conversion, I remain perplexed by certain aspects of Christian doctrine, namely the concept of the Trinity. It is my plan to speak with my minister when I return home and hopefully through this, gain some clarity. While for some people it may be enough to simply accept faith, I must be true to myself and pursue more in depth explanations of theology. If I am to devote myself fully to God and live as he has prescribed, then it is only possible through uncovering the basis for accepted doctrine and understanding it.

Ma'salaama for now,
Andrew

Currently Listening To:
Thursday "As He Climbed the Dark Mountain"

P.S. - The first photo was taken this past Friday in my apartment with my roommates and our friends during the weekly Friday feast. The second photo is from Halloween; my friend Amanda and I went as Mrs. and Mr. Palin.

The Things That Are Usually Hidden

Some say
It's all fate
but I say we control our lives
And if my destiny should out best me then that's fine.
I make believe thrill and apathy co-exist in me fairly equally
The truth is doubts are all I've got to call mine.

-Bayside "Duality"

As it has probably become evident, music is an important part of my life. The lyrics that I have quoted here effectively summarize my thought process as of recent. As ridiculous as it may sound this week has done more to encourage personal reflection than any other portion of my time in Cairo. I know all of this may sound like I am just being overly dramatic, but I believe that each individual can experience moments of great insight at any point in their life. We tend to associate wisdom exclusively with those who have weathered the storm that is life and all of its constantly fluctuating pace. This outlook on our lives simplifies the experiences of younger individuals, who may in fact have had endured more dramatic situations and thus, emerged wise. I do not credit a single incident with initiating my reflections this week, rather there have been several ones that have contributed to a general need to sort through my thoughts.

One of these incidents came in the form of I guess what you might label as separation anxiety. I usually do not elaborate about my relationships with others on here because I find too many people maintaining blogs whine about insignificant problems already. Sparing you all of the details I will briefly explain how particular loved ones' words, or in this case lack of, can effectively bring me to my knees so to speak. Each of us have people in our lives like this, whether it is a beloved, friend, or mentor. For me at the present time it is my family and girlfriend; both are able to relate in a way that cannot be shut out. While I had expected some homesickness and the anxiety that arises from it, I did not account for the degree in which they were affect me. Yes, I have had some amazing experiences since being here and I have no regrets about coming here, as evident by my past posts and pictures. At the same time there has been a constant tugging at my heart for being home. Initially it was the sound of loved ones' voices on the other side of the Atlantic that hurt most and caused me to long for home. Now that I have settled into a new life here that is relaxed in comparison to home I become uneasy at times because loved ones cannot relate to what I am experiencing here. It appears that culture shock transcends even e-mails, phone calls, and Facebook messages. I am not blaming anyone for this situation but I ask that individuals be more aware of this cultural disconnect. While I may seem distant or needy, understand that being away this far and long is something to me as well as you, and look inward for strength if need be. Out of the physical separation from loved ones I have done just this, attempting to become more spiritual and an overall better human being through internal reflection. Being here in a society where religion is all around, it is hard not to become inspired by individuals that you encounter daily. This blog could never hold the amount of life experiences I have had these past two months, and more are sure to arise during my last two months in Egypt.

The other event that occured this week that has incited more reflection took place last night. As a member of the Palestinian activist group, al-Quds (Arabic for "Jerusalem"), I had been asked to help usher a concert hosted by the club and the university. Riim Banna, a Palestinian folk singer, performed for nearly an hour and half accompanied by her Ukranian husband on guitar. Her voice was unlike anything I have ever heard before, ranging from angelic to soaring highs. The crowd, which consisted of Palestinian and Arab dignitaries and Cairo's Palestinian population, was filled with energy and Riim played into this during her performance. It reminded me of a modern, evangelical Christian gathering, where people sway back and forth, almost entering a trance state of esctasy. My friends and I raced throughout the crowd stirring people to their feet and clapping to the point of turning our hands strawberry red. Only after being pestered by an AUC faculty member did we stop, but our efforts had already caused the crowd to become so loud that security guards could not stop the energy. Since arriving in Egypt I have become increasingly concerned about the current political situation in Israel and the Occupied Territories, specifically the displacement of Palestinian citizens. AUC has a large number of students from both Gaza and the West Bank, some of which are my closest friends here, and talking with them has changed my mind about the Arab-Israeli conflict. To hear personal stories from them about being evicted from their homes by the Israeli military and wondering if they would arrive at school without being hurt has had a lasting impact on me. I had previously empathized more with Israel as the victim of Arab and Iranian harassment, but now my opinion has become more balanced. Judging by the pictures, documentaries, and experiences I have encountered the situation in Palestine is nothing short of a human rights' disaster. And what most people do not seem to comprehend in the US is that Palestinians are not only Muslims, but also Christians. It is apalling that the US media portrays Palestine as nothing but a haven for terrorists; if you met my friends you would find they are just like us in their desire for self-improvement and security. Like the Israelis who persecute them, many Palestinians have been forced into a diaspora of sorts, fleeing to Jordan, Egypt, Europe, and the US. It seems so ironic. Inshallah (Arabic for "God willing") I will be traveling to the Holy Land for a week in December to visit Jerusalem and the West Bank. I do not know what exactly to expect but I know it will be life changing.

Currently listening to:
The Appleseed Cast "Sunlight Ascending"